5 Steps to Controlling Myself
There are a few people I have no control over. 7.3 billion to be exact.
I keep myself pretty busy just working on myself. I’ve a long list of areas to maintain. Here are a few to get us started.
1) Self Talk.
What we think and say to ourselves all day long is pretty darn important. Negative messages inherited from parents, a schoolteacher, a coach, a haughty look someone gave us on the street – these can fill our mind until there is no room for possibilities.
When negative self-talk pops up, immediately replace it with your choice of positive thoughts. In time, you train your mind to ignore the negatives and to search for positives. Positives are proven to enhance health, relationships, and fulfillment.
2) Self Image.
Our self-image is created by a series of experiences that have built up into a full-blown self-identity. Most happened in formative years, perceived through the undeveloped mind and inexperienced eyes of a child. Now that you are an adult, you do not have to accept that accumulated data as the truth. You can review and remove pieces you don’t want. “I don’t measure up” is a tough one. Measure up to whom? To what? Who controls the measuring stick? Who is taking a poll? Why should we care? Once you recognize you can never live up to others’ expectations, create your ideal self, and then act to meet your own standards. Be gentle with yourself in this process. You are developing a new skill set of thought, so perfection isn’t required here. Just lots of practice.
3) Interaction with Others
How we act with others creates a boomerang effect. What we give out will come back. If we don’t like what is coming at us, the solution lies within what we are expressing out. There is a plethora of areas to work with here. If I am constantly being taken advantage of – how can I set better personal boundaries? If I don’t have any friends – how can I be more friendly? If my partners are demeaning – how can I be more assertive in relationships? If I need a partner to feel complete – how can I gain a sense of self-completion, so I am not dependent upon partners? If a pattern of relationship problems repeats – how can I break my beliefs or behavior that creates the pattern?
4) Non-Resistance/Acceptance
Acceptance isn’t giving up. It’s recognizing what cannot be changed and then setting about making it tolerable.
“That which we resist will persist”. When we see something we don’t like, we tend to look for additional, reinforcing proof that it’s wrong. We even go so far as to find others who agree so we can suffer together with full justification. This is guaranteed to add weight to our misery. Some things can be changed; others cannot. Weigh the circumstances, change what we can, and then let it go.
5) Be the person you want others to be.
Want more friendly people in your life? Be more friendly. Want more abundance in your life? Share more of what you do have. Want more recognition at work? Give more recognition to your co-workers and colleagues. Want people to be more welcoming at social events? Be the one who is welcoming to others at social events. Want fewer complaining people in your life? Cease complaining to others.
What you express will expand in your life – negative or positive. I’ve found positive works pretty darn good.
The most difficult person I’ve ever had to handle is me!
I’ve set a goal to be perfect before I die. This requires me to live until at least 3,000 years of age.
